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Autism Is Not A Burden

Autism Is Not A Burden

Angel is not a burden. Yes, you read correctly. Angel has autism and he is not a burden. I do not go to sleep at night lamenting my fate because my child is on the autism spectrum.

Angel is an easy going child. He is very affectionate, very active, and has no behaviors that would make me classify him as a difficult. I realize that some parents raising kids on the spectrum can have a hard time and I empathize with them but I needed to get it out there that my son is not a burden.

You must be wondering where all of this is coming from. Well, it is in reaction to a post I wrote this week and a comment I received in response. The comment hurt to the core because in essence the person was telling me that I should not be permitted to have another child because my first child has a disability. I mean why do that to myself. This is what the commenter wondered. She also mentioned that my son was a burden and why bring another burden into the world.

I thought long and hard about writing this post because I did ask for the disparaging remark to be deleted. So why bring it up again?

I am bringing it up because I finally found the courage to try to make the moment teachable.
I am bringing it up because it is my way of getting out my feelings about it and putting it to rest.
I am bringing it up because it scares me to think there may be other people out there who think that children with autism are a burden.
I am bringing it up because now I know that there are people who think that if you have a child with a disability, you should not be “permitted” to have more.

autism

So here goes my teachable moment:

Autism has its challenges. Every day is not easy. I acknowledge this. I live it. In spite of it all, I do not need pity. If you met my son, you will see how loving he is. You will see what a joy he is to be around. You will see that we are not burdened by his existence. In fact, we cherish every moment with him. She believes that I should not be permitted to have a second child. Well you know what they say about opinions.

How have people reacted to your decision to have or not have more children? I look forward to hearing from you.

Sincerely,

Miz Kp

Miz Kp
Written by Miz Kp

7 Comment responses

  1. Avatar
    December 05, 2013

    Our children are PEOPLE first! Humans with feelings and some just happen to be different. Some with different abilities but that does NOT define them. Your Angel is exactly that, a little angel placed on this Earth to teach all of us a lesson. A lesson about humanity, empathy, life, taking time to appreciate the little things, not taking things for granted. That person that wrote you that post is obviously not a parent. And if they are, I feel sorry for their children because they are just ignorant. I see us as the Chosen Ones. God saw something in us to bring these beautiful little angels into our care. Is it easy? Hell no! But no one ever said parenting was easy. No one has the right to decide what is a “burden” for another person. No one should assume that a situation is a “burden” neither.

    Reply

    • Avatar
      December 05, 2013

      Thank you, Shirley. You are so right. That is a good way to look at it. We are chosen.

      Reply

  2. Avatar
    December 05, 2013

    The ignorance of many is staggering. How can one person say such cruel things that another parent should think twice about having another child because they may have a disability. No one knows what the future holds for a child even after they are born into this world. I find it even more hypocritical for those comments to be made , especially when that one person has no idea of how the child behaves in public and at home. Everyone’s tolerance level is different, but respect should be the same. I have absolutely no respect for anyone who supports that damn lady’s ignorant opinion. Our kids are superstars, damnit!

    Reply

    • Avatar
      December 07, 2013

      I agree with dad of Angel. Who is she to tell someone that they should not have another child. Ignorance. I must of missed her emt (if it was on fb). I guess I’m glad I did because I wouldn’t have had nice words for her.

      Reply

      • Avatar
        December 07, 2013

        Thank you, Lisa. I guess people get very brave behind the keyboard. I appreciate your support.

        Reply

    • Avatar
      December 07, 2013

      I totally agree with you.

      Reply

  3. Avatar
    December 08, 2013

    Lisa said something interesting…..she wouldnt have nice words for her. This stirs up an unpleasant thought that there are unfortunately many who dont have nice words for those who are on the spectrum. This makes me wonder if the original commenter thinks she is better than us or it was the parents fault for doing something “stupid”. Autism does not discriminate by class, race or creed. However, people have diarrhea of the mouth to spill however they please and that is actually abusing the freedom of speech privilege.

    I will say that I do appreciate everyone who shares their thoughts and opinions in support of our cause. This is inspiring to me as a Dad of my little Angel.

    Reply

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