I envy parents who seem to have it all together. They fight the good fight and they make sure that everyone else knows it. I can advocate for my child and go hard for him when needed. Still self doubt creeps up on me at times and I wonder if I am doing enough for him.
This morning I asked Angel to button his shirt. He tried but could not get the button through the hole. So I modeled it for him. Then we moved onto the next button. He tried and he almost got it. Almost… then he gave up and said, “Push it! Push it!” This is his way of asking me to do it for him. We were pressed for time, so I did it.
Stories like this are what I have shared on social media and here on my blog since I started blogging in 2012. Yet there is always that one parent who will say: “All you need to do is get this gadget. I wrote a social story showing my daughter how to use it and now she can button her shirt independently.” I know these parents mean well but damn.
Maybe I don’t have the money to buy this gadget. Maybe my son could care less about social stories. Maybe I am going through a vulnerable phase and I am looking for support. I am learning that just because our kids share an autism diagnosis that does not mean that our lives are alike. Every kid is different. Every family dynamic is different. Every pocketbook is different. I think as parents we can be more supportive if we listen and do not judge.
Forgive me if I sound salty today but sometimes it can just become too much. My to-do list to get Angel where he needs to be is running off the page. There are not enough hours in the day. Yet I refuse to give up and I will tackle each item one by one on my own time.
I have cut back on writing over the last few months and will continue to do so as I try to decide on the new direction that I want Sailing Autistic Seas to take. When I started this blog, it was a source of therapy. A source of therapy should never be a source of stress. Thanks to everyone who has helped me keep my space as a judgement-free zone.
How do you deal with parents like the one I described in my post?
Please share in the comments. I look forward to hearing from you.