From Denial to Acceptance: Life on the Autism Spectrum (Part 1)
Posted by admin on May 16, 2012 in Blog | 13 comments
We entered the meeting room and sat around the table. A few seconds later, our IEP meeting began.
“Does he bang his head?”
“No,” I replied
“Does he rock back and forth?”
“No,” I replied again.
I knew where the district rep was going with her line of questioning. I had heard about autism. I watched Jenny McCarthy talk about it on Larry King. “She better not go there,” I thought. Angel’s dad and I looked at him run around the room, happy as ever. “Yeeeeeee!” he squealed. That was in February 2009. Angel was 2 years old. “I think he is the A word,” she volunteered.
My body went cold and I thought that this lady is hardly qualified to diagnose my son.
I refused to believe that my son was on the autism spectrum. I ignored her comment and the meeting progressed. Angel was approved to receive speech therapy 3×30 (three times a week for thirty minutes). My work was done or so I thought. I admit that a part of me wondered when he would start speaking like other children his age.
With Angel’s speech delays, people often felt the need to tell me: “Oh he is just a boy.” and “Boys do everything late.” Later, his former preschool teacher would offer this gem: “These goals on his IEP, don’t pay them any mind. He could be a late bloomer.” I believed her.
She even told me about the book, Leo the Late Bloomer. In the book, Leo’s dad wonders about him being a late bloomer. Leo’s mom asks his dad to be patient. In the end, Leo blooms. He can do everything that he could not do before. The End. But my Angel is not Leo.
Angel’s dad did not speak until he was 4, so we all believed that the words would come soon. Then, Angel turned 4 and he was still communicating with sounds, single words, and gestures. In the fall of 2009, he had ear tubes put in because of fluid build up in his ears. After the surgery, I waited and waited for the avalanche of words to come. I had heard stories of other children speaking after getting ear tubes. The words did not come for Angel. In fact, the only change was that he would scream whenever we turned the vacuum on.
As time went by, Angel’s progress reports were looking gloomier every quarter. The evaluations became more devastating. His fine motor and gross motor skills were lacking. Now he also needed occupational therapy and physical therapy.
Then, in 2011, I got a progress report that shattered me. My now 4-year old son was emotionally and cognitively only 1.8 years old. I did not think that it was possible for a broken heart to shatter into tinier pieces. How this could be? He had been in a special-needs school since 2009. We were in 2011. The tears came but as they rolled down my face, they also gave me a jolt into reality. My son needed help— desperately. It was time to dry my tears, pull my head out of the sand, and get to work!
To be continued…
When did you first realize that your child was not developing typically? How did it make you feel? What did you do?
I am interested in hearing what you have to say.
Sincerely,
Miz Kp
*IEP stands for Individualized Education Program
I am Miz Kp, the creator of Sailing Autistic Seas. My Web site is dedicated to my son "Angel" who is on the autism spectrum.
Miz Kp,
Wonderful blog! Congratulations!
kp, a lot of courage, tears and love.
I remember when I heard a little child in my family was similarly diagnosed, and my coworker wanted to know what was wrong, I couldn’t say the word either and he understood. I am so excited about all the research being done.
Congratulations on the obvious hard work that has gone into launching this much needed website. You are not alone on the journey. Musubah
Miz Kp,
Congrats on the website. I am very proud of you and always remember we will be here for you. We are only a phone call and 2 full gas tanks.
Thanks for starting and sharing this blog.
Important story, well told. Thanks for taking us on this journey–I hope you find all the support and encouragement you need, my dear.
You have amazing courage to admit and write this, dear. Hope your son is getting all the help he needs and if there’s anything at all I can do to help, you just let me know. Remember, my mom does early childhood ed. in Queens.
This is an amazing website. Such positive and productive attitude. God will turn your tears into laughter. It shall be well in Jesus name. I wish you all the best as I keep our sweet “Angel” in prayer. Thank you for being such an inspiration. You are as strong as you are beautiful.
Amazing job on the website!! It was not too long ago that this was all an idea..now its a reality. What an inspiration!! Love you and “Angel” always…
Wow, KP I am so proud of you. I know this was hard and it took alot of courage. Angel is blessed to have you as his guardian angel. This is exactly what is meant by making lemonade from lemons. Being an inspiration to others. He will heal your pain. Father Lord bless this family.
Thanks to everyone for all your encouragement and support. I sincerely appreciate it.
This page is amazing. God is in control !. I will conncet some of my Occupational Therapy Friends in the Peds area!